There was a pigeon hopping around on one leg, it's other leg ended in a stump. Me and the pigeon were near each other on a train platform, waiting for the train. He looked at me sometimes, and I looked at him, longingly. I wanted to pick up the pigeon and take it home, but every time I approached him he would hop away. Eventually I gave up and just watched him. A crumpled up wrapper blew over to us from next to a trash can and stopped between me and the pigeon. He hopped over to it on his one good leg and started picking at the inside of the wrapper. He pecked down at the corners of the bag, then he would look up at me, and then around. Sometimes he would have to hop around on his one leg and readjust himself. How much longer does that pigeon have to live, jesus christ.
I coughed. It was uncomfortable. Everything was silent and uncomfortable. I coughed again. Neither me or him said anything. Then, I was all alone. Then I wasn't. The other person in the room had a look on his face. What is that look? Then I, myself, made a face I would have been embarrassed of, if I could have been embarrassed by anything anymore.
On the train there was a woman with one hook where each of her hands should have been. She had two hooks for hands. One hook was shiny and metallic, and it came out of her sleeve where a hand was supposed to come from. The other hook was exactly the same, but on the other arm, from the other sleeve. She had one of her arms laying across the other, one wrist on top of the other wrist, and the hooks didn't touch. When I walked by and saw her hands, I only looked for a second, but jesus christ, two of them.
I had a lot on my mind when my mom called. She wanted to know how I was feeling. You can tell your mom anything. My mom said my sister was having some troubles with school. I said oh no. She said yeah. I said I loved her. She said she loved me too. After I hung up, I looked down. My hand, the one not holding the phone, had moved to my inner thigh, and was grasping at something. Nothing felt okay.
The lady came in with another lady. One of them was in a wheel chair and the other was pushing. I said hello when they came in and the walking lady said it back. She pushed the other lady over to a table full of Ôon sale' items, then left her there. If I can help you with anything, I said to them. Thank you, said the walking lady, who was now walking over to some clothes racks near the back. I looked at the wheel chair lady, sitting in her wheel chair next to the sale rack, not moving. She picked up a pair of purple shorts and held them in the air and looked at them. The walking lady slid through clothes on a rack and I could hear the slide of metal hanger on metal the hanging bar, but I kept looking at the lady in the wheelchair as she set the shorts down on her lap. After the walking lady paid for her dress she walked over to the other lady and the other lady held up the shorts toward her. The other lady took them smiling and folded them and put them back on the sale table, and then they left.
Me and my girlfriend were walking along a sidewalk in town, when one of the retarded people she worked with came running out of a cafŽ to greet her. He hugged my girlfriend, rocking her back and forth. Behind him came out one of the girls my girlfriend worked with (one of our close friends). She said hi to me, and to my girlfriend, and then smiled at the retarded guy. He looked back at the girl and said that my girlfriend was his girlfriend, and that they were going to get married. The girl smiled more and laughed, so did my girlfriend, her arms around him. Then they all said good-bye. Bye I said. We walked on past the cafŽ, turned the corner, and were passing the library when my girlfriend said ÔWhat's wrong with you?' I looked at her and she was looking at me.
I started writing a short story. It began "Up in heaven the man cried because no one he loved had died in the fire." I stopped with that line and laughed. I decided that was done and went upstairs to my bathroom. At the sink I coughed. Something inside of me didn't feel right.
We were walking along the beach, my girlfriend and me, and it was beautiful. I thought everything was so beautiful. The sun was low in the sky, hovering above the water, watching her and me walk hand in hand. It was big and orange and it gave a little more light to us as we went along, parallel to the water. We walked on wet sand and when a wave would come in, it would slide under our feet and soak down into the sand more. I thought that was wonderful. I thought it was a wonderful feeling to have the water rush over my toes. I breathed in the clean air.
"The air is so clean," I said.
"Gross," she said, and pointed to a dead bird that had washed up onto the shore. Every wave pushed it on to the sand, then pulled it back out again. I thought the dead bird looked beautiful. I thought it was the most wonderful thing I had ever seen. I wanted to kiss it. I knew that if I kissed it, it would come back to life.